Hold The Pickles, Hold The Lettuce, Duke, Steak, and Larry The Cable Guy Don’t Upset US
If you are like me, your spam email file always includes messages asking you to take a survey, like “which tastes better, Coke or Pepsi?” A few years ago I would have answered Coke. Now though, it would have to be Diet Coke. Because of my diabetes 2 I quit drinking real pop, and drink diet now, and actually don’t hate it.
McDonald’s or Burger King fries? Are you kidding me? McDonald’s, although their healthier fries aren’t as good as the old fries from McDonald’s.
Big Mac vs. Whopper? Neither. You can hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, hold the tomatoes, and please hold the special sauce. I would take a McDonald’s quarter-pounder without cheese.
Pizza-Well, I figure that Pizza Hut comes up with new creations every month because their regular pizza sucks. I am really not fond of any of the pizza chains pizza. My favorite pizza is North Beach pizza, unfortunately found only in San Francisco. It is doughy and cheesy, with lots of toppings.
Duke vs. North Carolina basketball? Duke. Like jazz, if it has to be explained, you won’t get it.
American League vs. National League? Let’s see, the NL has the Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, Pittsburgh Pirates, San Francisco Giants, and the Los Angeles Dodgers. The American League has the Boston Red Sox. I am no purist, so I prefer the designated hitter rule; I just don’t like most of the teams that use it.
Steak vs. lobster? I don’t think you should eat anything that swims.
Harvard vs. Yale? Actually I prefer Midland Lutheran College of Fremont, NE, but if I had to pick between Harvard or Yale, I would pick Stanford.
Ford vs. Chevy? I have owned four Fords and four Chevrolets. I drive a Mazda because of gas mileage. I am not sure, but I think my Mazda was made in Texas.
College vs. Pro? College-college football, college basketball, college baseball.
Indoor vs. Outdoor Hockey? I would say indoor, but apparently the NHL thinks outdoor hockey might be a novel idea. The Detroit Red Wings are going to play the Chicago Black Hawks at Wrigley Field on New Years Day 2009. If the Red Wings hit a puck into the left field bleachers, do the fans have to throw it back?
Iraq or Afghanistan? You don’t want a long diatribe from me about why both are crazy.
Artificial turf vs. grass? Could Shoeless Joe Jackson have played barefoot on artificial turf? Does he belong in the Hall of Fame? Was Kenesaw Mountain Landis a fraud? Should he have banned all eight of the Black Sox? My vote is for grass and for Shoeless Joe to go into the Hall of Fame.
Larry the Cable Guy vs. Jerry Seinfeld? I never got Seinfeld. Larry I get. Perhaps that is a comment on my intellectual capability. Of course if you think that, you are an elitist snob.
My blogs vs. every other blog? It is only a matter of time before my blogs are “discovered” and become the hottest thing on the internet. And you can say “I knew him when.”
Leave a Reply