I Guess I Am Not Passionate About College Football
I received an email today from www.hersheysbigfan.com. You can go there to learn more about the contest. I found out all I needed to know when I read “get out your grease paint and foam fingers.” Apparently like so many other contests to determine “passionate” football fans, this contest is going to equate passionate with stupidity. To win you have to display on video, proof that your IQ is only one or two points higher than the average Oakland Raider fan.
I have always thought I was a passionate Nebraska Cornhusker fan. I have season tickets to Husker games. I get goose bumps during the tunnel walk. I love Memorial Stadium though my climb to our north end zone seats is now 87 steps instead of several ramps and 20 steps, a gift from the administration of much despised former A.D. Steve Pederson. I love it even though years ago Sports Illustrated called Memorial Stadium the worst place in America to watch good football. I love the Husker Marching Band and enjoy its pre-game and halftime shows. I like the drum line better than baton twirlers. Go figure. I love mascots Lil Red and Harry Husker, and think Lil Red is the all-time greatest mascot of any NCAA school. I have to listen to Husker home games, even though I am sitting in the stadium. I listen to post game shows and interviews and read all the articles in the Sunday paper. I tail gate. I died a little bit every season Bill Callahan coached here, and am thrilled with Bo Pelini. I long for the days when the Black Shirt defense was a feared commodity. I have read both of Tom Osborne’s books. But by the standards of chocolate king Hershey, I am not a passionate fan because:
-not once have I ever painted my face, not even a red letter N. I do wear an NU ball cap though.
-I have never worn a corn head and think its inventor should be imprisoned.
-I don’t own a foam finger and have never worn one, though I would consider wearing one if they changed which finger signified #1.
-I don’t own a scarlet painted auto with Big Red prestige license plates.
-I don’t have a Big Red rec room equipped with every curio someone at NU decided to license to some crazy manufacturer.
-I don’t have a red flag with a big white N to fly on game days.
-I don’t listen to Husker radio talk shows five nights a week.
-I hate the wave. I mean I despise it, and would not stand during the wave if someone gave me $20. Well, I might stand if he had cash in hand holding it out to me.
Maybe Snicker’s will start a contest with rules that state no grease paint or foam fingers allowed.
Ron Speaks Out 